Be Confident & Feel it

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Its for you dear =)

DEAR R....
my eyes can't sleep thinking of you..
both of my hands busy typing your name..
both sides of my brain searching the right position to put you in...
der....yet... my heart feels recklessly..
my soul senses alarm of emptyness..
if i throw it aside, the "tink toink" sound will be heard. (like an empty rusty can)
am i ready for your coming back?
hey, actually,do i have the heart to invite you in?
seriously, i have nothing to offer you.MONEY? Is it enough?
my preparation?
i think, it is only by emptying my food or drink during the day..
honestly,i dont prepare any new thing for you..
i used the same old telekung with 'tahi lalat' to meet my Lord during tarawikh,
i washed hundred times my fading-colored sejadah,
i wear my re-tied torn off anak tudung,
i wear my re-stitched hollowed stockings.
no need to waste our money right?
wasting money dude is accompanied by devil. hey
i'm just being moderate in i?
i dont really care about the real enjoyment of celebrating the ifthar,
what i want is, my food for ifthar must be colourful,
full with needed nutrient, filling the blank spot on the dinner table,
no matter how much i spent per day at the bazaar..
i deserve those for my energy supply decreement during fasting. it ok?
my mind always think of the end of your coming...
have i bought my tiket to balik raya yet?
do i have enough accesories for my raya dress?
am i eligible to get enough duit raya from elder and working relatives?
my confession?
listen here,recently awaken...
my heart is packed with worldy love.
stuck in the road of lust..
trust me,
it shall bouncing when i stumbled into human, instead of when hearing your steps...
simpley said,the phenomena playing around with the world aside...
my notepad sticking everywhere on my noticeboard and desk..
just targetting.. on how to catch my dream cgpa,
my expensive house in resident,
my full packaged spouse,
my sporty pinkish car,
my happy intellectual family..
my solution?
ne no ne no (the sounds of ambulance comes!!)
this patient is so sick!
she fainted and drowning in lake of sins..
not normal CPR can help her!
if my heart being scanned,
there will be lots of cancerous snobbish!
much more blockage in my fitrah passage(lots of sin summons)...
i think my heart need the true rejuvenation..
no more retorically written..enough already.
some refreshing injection needed!
the right medicine requested!
here i attached this love letter for you..
oh R...i'm dedicating this words for you...
your special spirit makes me cry...
your finest aura makes me fell down on knee..
your strongest embracement overwhelming me..
my warm tears falling gently upon my cheeks..
you are sooo special... dear...
you are adorable...nothing can replace you..
i adore you for these special gifts..
no devil to influence me (yet, the lust replacing that role)
no excessive eating and drinking (making my pocketmoney stabilize)
no windowing shopping and cuci mata (my energy saver)
no late night korean dramas (my meeting with ALLAH during Qiamulail keep me stronger)
Allahumma bariklana fii RAMADHAN.... (^_^)

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