Be Confident & Feel it

Monday, November 1, 2010

the only guy for me.its him.

There was a guy who will always be there for me,
he hold my hands tightly as we crossed the road together,
he made me a cup of milo (very strong, half of water but double scoops of milo perhaps)
and lots of buttered gardenia breads for my breakfast (i only eat the white part, such
a waste, ish).
he knocked my door continuosly until i said "dah bangun!" for my subuh prayer.
he was very strict about solat. dare to get warning if we didnt wake up for subuh *worh...*
i would rather woke up late to make him send me off to school instead of by "pakcik
bas" who always arrived exactly 6.30 am.*sigh*
he pinched my hand when i went downstairs as it almost 7 o'clock. *ouch!*

When i was 10 years old (approximately - zaman jahiliah),
i was so "mengada-ngada" when i asked him to buy mcD for me although it was fasting month.
i failed to realise how tebal his muka was when he bought that for me *PLEASE forgive me*

Right exactly at 11 am in every friday morning, he would go upstairs to watch live
friday prayer at masjidil haram at astro art channel 111.he really adored syeikh rahman sudais as he claimed that he have seen him during the last hajj. "abah semayang dekat dia depan kaabah wo.."
he will scolded me if i "gatal tangan" to change the channel to watch my disney channel eventhough
he claimed that i was his little princess. *ayoyo*

we called him "pak haji" as he liked to be called as his father, "tok aji".
he would wear his white jubah,white baju panas and along with white trousers that
simply looked many white as possible to go to friday prayer. *i just dont get it*
his fragrance was quite strong as he liked to enjoy his friday prayer with the best
smell as possible.

he would asked my mom to cook his favourite "kari ikan" exclusively on that day as he
said "today is my resting day,i cooked for many days, now its your moms turn, abah
pencen hari ni"
*haha* while he read harakah at the living room with opened sliding door with "lanun" and "marsha" nagging him around for food. *nyiaw*

his grin really made my day, my life will be entertained by his mimicking action of my mother's mumbling.he would chicken danced behind her like he didn't care on a single thing that she
even the scenes kept on repeating, i know, deeply inside him, he loved my mom soooo much.

I really cant forget the way he made me smiled out of bursting tears when he simply
"oh, mafi musykila,they dont have the opportunity to get haji akbar like you"
when my friends' spm results were a lot much better than mine. it took me several
minutes to recover because i really couldnt relate with that situation,
he did try his best though.*good job abah*

He stood by me when my friends were teasing me with our "kereta keranda".
they said that his old-fashioned-yellow volvo cars is too long where it can transport me "the white pale mayat" in there.
he showed off his s60 volvo when he took me at tuition,he really shut their big
mouth.i didnt hear any single "kereta mayat" anymore after that. *dont play play aa*

i thought you will be there for me when i meet the right guy in my life.i need your advice in choosing the rigt guy for me, you know better as told me to be a good cook as to please my husband."ang kena pandai masak kalo tak nanti laki lari".you said you will teach me how.yet,you left me with only these words "fry me some" when
i did fry my favourite "keropok lekor".*i wanted to inherit your secret recipes*

i cried beside your bed. i said "who is going to be my wali??"
i took your cold hand close onto my head as i want to feel the same warm hand like before.
i lost control of my sadness as i cried badly without noticing that you were
there seeing only your roh was not anymore inside your body. we have been
separated by the boundary of different worlds.

At this moment,
i just wanted to hear your voice to say "all the best for your exams",
i have waited almost 3 years for you to say that.
i know i cant avoid the destiny,but i couldnt help myself from thinking of you. (T_T)

i just dont know how can i repay all of your hardship and tears.
i will try my best to send my miss and love for you by being a solehah daughter to
cherish you there with prayers.
i will protect your good name.
miss you SOOOO MUCH my dear ABAH.
may peace be upon you there.